Snape's Diary
by ratti
Summary: pretty much it's Snape's life through Snape's eyes. It explains how he is the way he is and about his Death Eater days. Please RR


Snape's Diary

Disclamor: none of the characters or places are mine. I took them all from J.K. Rowling. I wish they were mine, but sadly, Snape isn't for sale. :-)

**Dedication**

This story is dedicated to my parents. It's also dedicated to David Candelaria, who recently died, but I'll always love. Also to my aunt and uncle; good luck with the baby! Love ya.

Warning to anyone who reads this:

This diary has an anti-reading curse on it. Anyone besides myself, Severus L. Snape, will become a blubbering mass of jelly unless the correct password is spoken.

Sept 1st 1977

I'm here! I'm finally here! At Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry to be exact. Father's always said the headmaster, Dumbledore, was the worst thing to happen to Hogwarts, but it's still Hogwarts! I'm in Slytherin (obviously). I would die if I were in Hufflepuff, but I would move to Antarctica if I were in that goody-goody house, Gryffindor. That's were all the mudbloods are.

The welcoming feast was great. They weren't kidding when they said Hogwarts has the best food around. The common room is a joke; it's a giant, cold room made of stone and is completely green and silver, but my dorm is okay. Four posters all around. Classed start tomorrow; I can't wait for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Sept 6th 1977

I hate Gryffindors! Especially those good-for-nothing Marauders. That James Potter; who does he think he is? Just coming up from behind and jinxing me! And that Black, helping him! They're supposed to be good, rich purebloods but they're all such muggle lovers. All I did was stride over to the lake, the Giant Squid interests me, and Potter and Black decide to give me jelly legs! I hate them. Lupin did absolutely nothing and that runt, Pettigrew, just stared. It took an hour to find the counter course. I have to get back at them.

Plan: record embarrassing conversations between Potter and other three than broadcast it over the school. I'm sly as a fox!

Nov 13th 1979

What am I doing wrong! For three years I've been trying to get back at them but nothing works. Oh well.

There's a new boy at Hogwarts. He's a 6th year that transferred from Drumstrang. No one knows why. His name is Lucius Malfoy. The Malfoys are a long line of proud pure-bloods. Lucius is in Slytherin. Very interesting fellow. Hates muggles and mudbloods more than I do. We should get together for some mudblood bashing; that would be fun. I do hate mudbloods, not as much as I hate the Marauders, but I hate them. Mudbloods shouldn't be allowed at Hogwarts.

It's time for dinner. I hope they have more of that chicken from last night.

Jan 1st 1980

New Years is always good and this year was no exception. Again and again I wonder who makes the food here. Most of the boys think it's a bunch of house-elves, but my family has five house-elves, and they don't cook half as well.

Lucius is proving to be a valuable friend. Power is a good thing, and his family has lots of it. He's helped me with my problem with Potter, and his plans work out better than anything I come up with. He has so much of that Slytherin cunning, Salazar himself would be impressed.

Sept 3rd 1981

With Lucius out of school, it's back to the old plots. At least he promised to stay in touch. Two more years and I, like Lucius, will be free of Hogwarts and the Marauders. In his letters of late he has mentioned a man who is coming to power. He refused to give me the man's name, but he said that the man shares my belief that anyone less than pure-blood is scum.

Classes are going well. OWLs are this year. I love Defense Against the Dark Arts but my best subject is surprising Potions. I can brew like no one else. I definitely need to work on History if I don't want to get a troll on my OWLs. How long has Binns been around here anyway? I would ask, but it's hard enough staying awake in that class let alone say something intelligent. Doing pretty well in Transfiguration. Even though McGonagall is head of Gryffindor, she's an okay teacher. All right, she's a very good teacher. We've already planned our 7th year prank. We're going to Professor Minerva McGonagall out of that stupid bun.

Strange, I have two years left and I'm already thinking about leaving. It must be Lucius's influence. The only thing he could talk about last years was leaving.

July 10th 1982

Yes! I passed all my OWLs! Even History! Got the result this morning. I'll copy them down here for dexterity.

Transfiguration: Exceeds Expectations

Charms: Outstanding

DADA: Outstanding

Potions: Outstanding

History of Magic: Acceptable

Care of Magical Creatures: Exceeds Expectations

Astronomy: Acceptable

How I got an O in Charms is still amazing me. I'm so glad that this year we can drop some of our classes. So long History and Astronomy!

Sept 1st 1983

It's my last year at Hogwarts. I decided to drop Care of Magical Creatures for my NEWTs year. I don't need another class with Black and Potter. I'm still on the train to Hogwarts, but it can't be that much longer; it's 6:30 pm.

Sept 1st 1983 (later that night)

Dinner was good. I love the Welcoming Feast and I'll never get tired of the Sorting Hat. It's kind of sad that I'll never see all the first years being sorted again. It's good to be in my dorm again. Lucius sent me a pack of sugar quills which I'll make use of tomorrow. Thank Lucius for remembering how I like them. I just have to not slurp or I'll get caught again.

With the quills, he told me more about this man. He says his name is Voldemort and that he wants to rid the world of muggle-borns. All I can say is, "here, here!"

Dec 25th 1983

It's impossible for me to express how much I hate Christmas. Everyone is too cheerful and the carols could drive anyone insane. The crackers pop with a sound that gives me a headache all day, and last year the Marauders enchanted a tree to bite me every time I said the word, "Slytherin." Only good part is that I'm left alone to work on homework or plan ways to get Potter expelled.

I'm having some trouble in Transfiguration. I can't get my bat to turn into a chair. The closest thing I've gotten is a black chair with wings. It flew right into McGonagall, and if that weren't bad enough, the Marauders were right next to me. I have to use some of Christmas break to get back at them.

Jun 23rd 1984

Last day, ceremony, Leaving Feast, too much! So much is happening. I'm going to leave Hogwarts! We all are! We're going out into the real world. Potter and Lily Evans are getting married. Sinestra, from Ravenclaw, has been asked to be the new Astronomy teacher, and some Slytherins and I are going to meet with Lucius and some of his friends to talk about Voldemort, who by the way, has finally made a public appearance. About a month ago, five muggle-borns were found dead, all tortured to death! A green sign was found above all the people that died. It was a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth.

Lucius says the ceremony before Leaving Feast is a bore but important. The Leaving Feast will be sad. I've been at all the Leaving Feasts, but this will be different because I know I'll never be at another. It's time to go.

June 23rd 1984

It's 11:50 and the party hasn't stopped! I liked the ceremony. Dumbledore talked about all the things we've done the past seven years. It was almost fun, though I still can't stand Dumbledore. Then we went to the feast. It was as if the house restrictions didn't exist! People from one house going to sit with people from another house. Lily Evans came over to the Slytherin table to say good-bye. The food, as usual, was great. I'm really going to miss it.

We went back to our common room after. Someone brought out the butterbeer and the party's been going ever since.

August 13th 1984

That meeting scared the shit out of me! I finally met Voldemort. No, he must be called Lord Voldemort. Anyway, he's slippery as an eel and his eyes are red and snakelike. He's ugly as sin, all pale and bald with those long fingers. He said I could join him and his other followers on their muggle torture session tomorrow, if I want. It sounds like fun.

Oct 20th 1985

My Lord has gained a lot of power in the past few months. All of his followers, myself included, have been labeled Death Eaters. It's such a bad name. We don't eat the people we kill; only Larry does that.

I'm not actually a Death Eater yet. I don't have the Dark Mark, that sign with the skull and snake, tattooed on my arm yet. But I will. And when I do, I'll be up their with Lucius, ready to do Lord Voldemort's bidding. And when he destroys Dumbledore, he'll rule the world! Mwhaha! Sorry.

Dec 11th 1985

Dumbledore is a problem. I almost came to respect him at Hogwarts, but he's getting in my Lord's way. He's doing everything in his power to stop Voldemort from destroying all those damn mudbloods. Oh well, in an hour, I will join the ranks of death Eaters sworn to serve Voldemort. Also, Lucius tells me, you get to torture the prisoners! I can't wait! The only problem is that I try to wear my best robes for Voldemort, and I always end up with blood on them. Just forty-five more minutes and I'll be stalking the homes of my Lord's newest victims. He likes to blackmail them before he kills them.

Half an hour now. Twenty minutes, fifteen, ten, five, four, three, two, one! He's calling me out of the preparation room.

Dec 12th 1985

Just got home from the Death Eater meeting. Wow, that scary. First, Voldemort goes into your mind. It felt as if I were being cut in two. When the pain stopped, he said he needed to know if I'd be eternally loyal to him. Then he picked up his wand and said, "Morsmordre!" It felt as if my arm were on fire. When I looked down at my arm, it was smoking. But that didn't stop me from seeing the Dark Mark branded to my arm. After I had gotten into the circle with the official Death Eaters, I noticed that my Lord had called another person to take the mark.

I was too shocked to speak when I saw one of James Potter's best friends come in front of Lord Voldemort. Pettigrew went through the same thing I did. Now that I'm home, I'm still confused. Wasn't Pettigrew a goody Gryffindor like the rest of them? Maybe there is hope for Gryffindor after all. I can't believe I just said that. I need a drink.

Feb 14th 1989

Haven't been doing much over the past few years except killing, torturing, and bowing. I'm really stating to hate the bowing. I have a backache that won't quit!

It's Valentine's Day; joy. I've never gotten a Valentine's Day card in my life! At school I was known as Potter's punching bag. Speaking of Potter, Voldemort is planning on killing him and Lily. Micnair and I are assigned to learn everything we can about the Potters before he strikes. I almost feel bad about singing Lily's death warrant. We were friends in our younger years at Hogwarts.

The reason the Dark Lord wants to kill the Potters is because a source told him about a prophecy. The prophecy states that a boy born in July will grow up to destroy Voldemort. Ah well, back to house-stalking.

Apr 29th 1989

I can't take it! The torturing, the bowing, the maniacal laugh! It would drive me crazy if I weren't already there. I think I'm having a mental breakdown!

Apr 30th 1989

I can't believe I went to Dumbledore. I still hate him, but he's the only one that can help me. I told him everything. It's not like I'm not evil anymore, it's just I don't like what Voldemort is doing. Mudbloods are scum, true, but I'm sure there's a use for them somewhere.

Anyway, when I finished telling him everything, he got very quiet. Then that infamous twinkle in his eyes started. He told me that I could fix this. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say, I am now a traitor. I'm a pretend Death Eater. My job is to go to the meetings and report them back to Dumbledore. I told him that Voldemort was planning to kill the Potters, then I left.

Jul 30th 1989

Being a spy isn't all that hard. I never realized how stupid Lucius and the other Death Eaters were. Voldemort is going to kill the Potters tomorrow. At least that's what he thinks. He doesn't know about the protective wards Dumbledore placed around their house. I'm really starting to trust that man.

July 31st 1989

I'm not exactly sure what happened. Voldemort said he was going to destroy the Potters by himself and told us all to go home, three hours later, my neighbor comes running over screaming his head off about Voldemort being gone forever. I really don't get it, so I'm going to see Dumbledore.

Aug 1st 1989

It's two in the morning and I just got back from Dumbledore's. Seems someone told Voldemort where the Potters were hidden. Dumbledore suspects Sirius Black, but I'm keeping my suspicions to myself as I've seen more and more of Pettigrew at Death Eater meetings. Dumbledore told me that the Dark Lord killed Lily and Potter, but when he tried to kill their son, he couldn't. No one knows how, or why, but he couldn't kill Harry Potter, he lost all of his powers and disappeared. It's a lot to think about. I need to get some sleep.

Aug 20th 1989

I got a job offer, and it came from Dumbledore himself! He wants me to teach Potions. Though I prefer DADA, Potions always was my best class. I can still brew potions like no other. I think I'll take the job. Now all I need to do is think of is how to greet the students. I wish I knew why Dumbledore wants me to teach, lord knows I'm not good with kids. But knowing Dumbledore the way I do, I know he won't tell me.

Sept 2nd 1989

First years are idiots. I just finished teaching my first class. I think I started off rather nicely. I said, "You are here to learn the stubble science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death- if you aren't the bunch of dunderheads that you look like." I said it all in this creepy whisper; it was a lot of fun. I seem to be able to keep my class quiet without trying. This is going to be a _very _good year.

Fin.

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